A miracle has happened! The book that came through me six years ago has finally been published. It’s called Breaking Free: How Forgiveness and A Course in Miracles Can Set You Free. It took six years to publish because I had some more forgiveness work to do, which I describe below.
The book poured out of me after I made the decision to forgive what A Course in Miracles calls my “chosen learning partner.” We usually have two or three major learning partners, and they provide us with our greatest forgiveness lessons. This learning partner has been a man I’ve called my “twin flame,” the soul mate of soul mates. I formed a special relationship with him, expecting that our soul mate relationship, the grandest achievement on earth in my mind, would make my life whole.
It went bust. Right after I had a baby, I left my husband for this man, and then he abandoned me. That was not part of my plan, and I spent the next 15 years raging at him. I’ve spent the past six years alternating between trying to forgive him and raging at how I thought he victimized me. Yet I still loved him and felt terribly guilty for loving such a jerk. Further, I have a wonderful relationship with my partner of 11 years, so I’ve felt guilty about continuing to love another man.
The Course tells us that a special relationship is something we think will substitute for the love of God. We all form special relationships and these can be with people or things. Addictions are special relationships—we fall in love with alcohol or something else, and initially we feel we’ve found what we’ve been looking for. Then it goes bad, as things here on earth often do.
Last week I spoke with a new friend, Jane Lee Logan. (www.janeleelogan.com). I told her that I can’t stop thinking about my twin flame and how guilty I’ve felt about that, since he’s been so mean to me (that’s another story and the subject of my next book). She echoed the words another friend of mine has been saying, but this time I was able to take them in. “Love him! Love him! How can you possibly stop loving him? Love is what you are! He’s your savior! Don’t even try to stop loving him!”
Something shifted in me, and I’ve had tears of gratitude since. I can finally say that this relationship is healed and that I’ve forgiven what my twin flame never did. A Course in Miracles tells us that we are the dreamers of our own dream, so we’re never victims. The person we think we have to forgive never did what we think they did, because life is a dream. When we awake, we see that nothing ever happened and love is all that’s left. When we finally see this, we are free.
I see it! I used to think I needed my twin flame to apologize before this would be healed, but now I see I just needed to open up to total love, no matter what I dreamed he did.
This open heart is a gift like no other. Whoever has hurt you, s/he is your ticket to freedom. Keep asking the Holy Spirit to help you forgive, and you will break free.
Breaking Free is both the title of my book and what life’s all about. You can read previews or order it at www.lorricoburn.com.
Blessings, Lorri Coburn